Monday, March 31, 2014

Damn You Murphy!

It's been a little quiet on the blog this month and is likely to be that way for a bit to come as well. You see this man Murphy has this law, you may have heard of it...basically it states "if it can go wrong it will."

I was on a roll. The husband and I had decided that we'd start living and stop waiting. We were decorating the house the way we wanted to, we were looking at taking small family days out and I had even started a new hobby with dreams of making it more.

Then Murphy called, long distance, in the shape of my sister in law in England. My beautiful and strong Mother in law who has been dealing with chemo since being diagnosed with Breast Cancer last October had been rushed to hospital.
There was really nothing to think about somehow we were going to get back to the UK. 48 hours later we had put in an application with the bank for a huge debt inducing personal loan and within the week we had booked tickets and accommodation for a 30 day trip to the UK.

So in a way we are still living and not waiting we've just changed the line up. Huge family holiday first, saving for a house when we return....long long after we return given the size of the loan and it's interest.

What I want to share with you all from my experience is a few things.

Firstly 'You cannot predict what will happen tomorrow'. I like to be organised, have a plan.  For most things in life I NEED to know that I'm somewhat in control, that I've done all I can to be prepared for what curve balls may come our way. I had started this. I did the finance course and educated myself on how to better handle our families income. I had set up a new account from which all our bills would be paid and the money was starting to build up in that. Our savings was starting to build up again too thanks to this new system. We had spending money, money that we could use for a day out or to treat ourselves with.

It doesn't matter how prepared you are life sometimes just does not play by your rules.

It's at those times you need to look for the positives before you drown in a sea of negativity. I'm usually great at helping friends see the positive points when they are going through a hard time, not so good at pointing them out to myself though. I eventually got there, after a really hard week of feeling like I was drowning I pulled on my life preserver and made a list.

*Our kids are going to get to see their paternal grandparents and make great memories for both the adults and children involved.
*They are going to experience a new culture, see the world and have their eyes opened to how big our world truly is. They will hopefully catch the travel bug that their dad and I have, the longing to see and experience all that our world has to offer and it will push them to be the best they can be so they have the opportunities to explore it later in their lives.
*My husband will get to see his mum again, possibly for the last time, and it will be done on their terms with happy smiling faces and big warm hugs.
*I get to see an old friend, someone very dear to me who I have not seen in far too long and squash them in the biggest bear hug ever...Gizmo you've been warned :)
*The husband and I will get our first vacation together, and with grand parents, aunts and uncles a plenty will possibly have so many date nights we'll be set for the next few years.

And last but most certainly not least we're going to Disneyland Paris!

I'm still stressed beyond belief, it's just how I am. A thousand small things add up to make one huge thing and I'm left tearing my hair out wondering why I haven't built that boat and sailed away to Jamaica yet.
Despite it all though I can see the positives, I'm excited for my kids and for my husband and I'm sure closer to D day I'll be excited for me too.

My lesson here though, one I'm sure we all know, is life is un predictable. Don't necessarily live each day as if it's your last unless you want to live the rest broke and possibly incarcerated but just stay aware that as much as you may plan, as organised as you think you may be none of us can see the future and none of us know what it will hold.

Which brings me to point two...Hindsight is Murphys ugly step sister.

The husband and I have a deep seeded hatred for hindsight. It seems we are forever doomed to be learning from our mistakes. 'If we had done this' or 'If we had gone that way' the most recent lesson I've learnt I'm sharing in case anyone is ever in a similar situation.

Bank loans. It was Friday afternoon when we learnt of my Mother in laws hospitalisation. The banks were closed and we were eager to get things underway so we applied to our bank via an online application. Once we had been approved and were sitting in our local branch with a very lovely banker we were informed that had we gone directly through the branch for this loan we could have saved thousands - THOUSANDS - on interest due to special deals they have to help form better relationships with loyal customers. I'm trying so hard to not think about this anymore, seriously THOUSANDS! Anyhow it's painful because we had mentioned that calling our branch to discuss the matter might be more beneficial....our impatience was our downfall.

So the lesson here....take as much time as your situation allows to think things through and always shop in store.

What it boils down to is this.. My Living while Renting journey is going to be longer than I had planned, also quite possibly a lot slower now too, but I'm in for the long haul, ready for the journey and I hope you all stick around till we reach our final destination whatever and when ever that may be.



  1. My mother lost both her parents at 12 years old. I can see it's affected the life choices she made. For better and worse.
    I'd give ANYTHING to have met my maternal grandparents. My heartless paternal grandmother disowned us after her husband died.
    I'm very thankful for the wonderful relationship I had with the woman that raised my mother...her Aunt...but it's not the same and what you are doing will ALWAYS have been the right choice.
    Sending thoughts and prayers to you all

    1. You are so right Louise. It's hard to think about all we are putting off to take this trip but not going wasn't an option.
      The kids and the grand parents will gain so much from it, and so will my husband and I.